


munch the frick out

by decoyshouyo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ALSO I PROMISE THIS ISNT NSFW ITS JUS THE NAME HAS A SIN WORD, Texting, blease read this im so lonely, chat fic, enjoy urself these r my sins #exposed to the world, i changed the title so a warning wont pop up lol, ill add in relationships it will happen but for NOW its just a huge shitpost, oikawa uses 2 many shortened words, when will the hell end, yamaguchi is a crytyper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:47:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decoyshouyo/pseuds/decoyshouyo
Summary: mattsun: eat ur handspce pce: THANKSpce pce: ILL DO JST THATmattsun: PERFECTkozumenchie: what the fcuk____________________________another chat fic for the endless haikyuu! fic section lmao some of these kiddos r in college and some r just working i havent decided too much yet but kenma works at a yogurt shopoikawa - pce pcetsukishima - Tsukkiyamaguchi - gucci guccikenma - kozumenchiekuroo - messy hairsugawara - frosted flakeyaku - nyakuakaashi - Akaashityahaba - yahababematsukawa - mattsucchanamaki - hana montana





	1. 4 pm breakies

_[pce pce added kozumenchie, gucci gucci, Tsukki, frosted flake, nyaku, yahababe, mattsucc, Akaashit, messy hair, and hana montana to munch the fuck out]_

 

4:11 PM

 

 **pce pce:** i need to eat breakfast but whar do i eat

 **kozumenchie:** ok same but why are you eating breakies at 4 pm  
**kozumenchie:** and did you rly make a groupchat just to ask that

 **pce pce:** KENMA u say breakies thats so cute !! im gonna smooch u  <3

 **kozumeme:** pls dont

 **mattsucc:** UR HANDS  
**mattsucc:** eat ur hands

 **pce pce:** THANKS  
**pce pce:** ILL DO JST THAT

 **mattsucc:** PERFECT

 **kozumenchie:** what the fcuk

 

7:24 PM

 

 **nyaku:** nYALL I SEE THERES A NEW GROUPCHAT

 **frosted flake:** someone's excited omg

 **nyaku:** i havent had a place to post my memes in 74 years...... the world is at peace and the water is warm

 **gucci gucci:** mau i ask what thsta meand  
**gucci gucci:** *that means

 **nyaku:** you missed another typo there, sport

 **gucci gucci:** dont patronize,. mme thot

 **nyaku:** kejfvergrlj

 **frosted flake:** you okay yams?

 **gucci gucci:** lol ya ei jsut type fast

 **frosted flakes:** okay ^^

 **mattsucc:** i wonder if oikawa ever actually ate breakfast lmao

 **pce pce:** hello!! yea i did LOL yamaguchi said thot

 **gucci gucci:** im nott meme deproived im jsuut so tiredd i usally dony bother using them bbc i ahve to think tp do that

 **hana montana:** relateable

 

8:09 PM

 

 **pce pce:** YALL IM SO FIFFED  
**pce pce:** THE CASH ME OUTSIDE GIRL IS GETTING A REALITY TV SHOW AND 2017 IS ONLY GETTING WORSE

 **kozumenchie:** oh my god thats,  
**kozumenchie:** thats actually so tragic

 **pce pce:** SAD

 **kozumenchie:** do you..... do you want to come over and eat yogurt...

 **pce pce:** r u srs

 **kozumenchie:** answer before i change my mind kiddo tick tock

 **pce pce:** yES i want to come over !! gosh yr so much meaner online T_T

 **kozumenchie:** lol cool u know where i live right

 **pce pce:** yaya!! ill b over soon

 **kozumenchie:** ok

 

8:45 PM

 

 **messy hair:** oh Heck theres a group chat now  
**messy hair:** and aw kenma has so many friends now i feel like a proud mother :,)

 **mattsucc:** :3c  
**mattsuncc:** thts cute

 **messy hair:** 3: <  
**messy hair:** meet me in the pit i am a terrifying force that is not to be reckoned with

 **mattsucc:** lmao okay

 

9:55 PM

 

 **mattsucc:** o u ever like wear sohcks

 **Akaashit:** nvjdkfndk Why is now when I look at my skype messages

 **mattsundere:** because u LOVR me  
**mattsucc:** ANYWAYS  
**mattsucc:** do u everr like,... wear shocks and then  
**mattsucc:** be like.  
**mattsucc:** ur my feet... ur warm

 **Akaashit:** No my feet are never warm

 **nyaku:** cold soul lol  
**nyaku:** matsun u good

 **pce pce:** matsu what the fuck

 **Tsukki:** i'm always cold

 **mattsundere:** NO U LIKE  
**mattsundere:** WEAR SOCKS

 **Akaashit:** Yeah I'm always cold

 **pce pce:** i haye socks

 **mattsucc:** im walrm

 **nyaku:** matsu what

 **mattsucc:** no like d u wears socks and

 **Tsukki:** socks don't even help me i'm lost to the world

 **gucci gucci:** KOSKDOOGSFGG

 

1:03 AM

 

 **hana montana:** yall do u evr like  
**hana montana:** see a straight couple and ur like _what_

 **pce pce:** me LOL  
**pce pce:** is this from sth specific or,

 **hana montana:** lmao no it was actually something matsu said @ matsu tell the gc what u said

 **mattsucc:** yes hi hello  
**mattsucc:** so i like... saw a boy  
**mattsucc:** and a girl  
**mattsucc:** and they..............  
**mattsucc:** they lip hugged

 **kozumenchie:** lip hugged....

 **pce pce:** LIP HUGGED

 **kozumenchie:** what fuck the

 **mattsucc:** oikawa kenma rnt u rite next to eachother

 **kozumenchie:** ya y

 **mattsucc:** go do sth with eachother oikawa went thru all the trouble of going to ur house

 **pce pce:** aww so touched u care abt my personal life and healthy friendships

 **mattsundere:** >:( let me be nice without any mockery that will be the day i truly live

 **pce pce:** ok but we will lemme just ask a question  
**pce pce:** which horrror movie should i wath

 **hana montana:** ya  
**hana montana:** um  
**hana montana:** sharknado

 **kozumenchie:** no

 **pce pce:** wait brb i gotta pee

 **kozumenchie:** lol ok  
**kozumenchie:** as for the rest of u go to sleep furrys

 **hana montana:** u come into my humble christian home,,...... and d u treat me,,. like a furry..... disgustenign .,

 **kozumenchie:** go to bed thot

 **hana montana:** lmao ok bye


	2. mattsundere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time to go back to last chapter and make all the names bold what Fresh Hell  
> happy spring break!! (atleast for me) im going on a trip but i have Zero social life so ill manage to write  
> ____________________________
> 
> just a reminder ^^
> 
> oikawa - pce pce  
> tsukishima - Tsukki  
> yamaguchi - gucci gucci  
> kenma - kozumenchie  
> kuroo - messy hair  
> sugawara - frosted flake  
> yaku - nyaku  
> akaashi - Akaashit  
> yahaba - yahababe  
> matsukawa - mattsucc (changed to mattsundere)  
> hanamaki - hana montana

11:04 AM

 

 **hana montana:** funfact did yall know i Lov mattsun  
**hana montana:** mattsun i love you

 **mattsucc:** i love you too

 **pce pce:** i too love mattsun

 **mattsucc:** I LOVE YOU TOO

 **hana montana:** honestly im blessed everytime i see a pic of u

 **pce pce:** mattsun..........

 **kozumenchie:** matsu makes me gay

 **pce pce:** l-l-l-love y-y-yo-you mattsun

 **mattsucc:** i  
**mattsucc:** thangks  
**mattsucc:** i love you too

 **pce pce:** x3 runs off b-b-b-b-baka

 **kozumenchie:** kicks oikawa off a cliff

 **mattsucc:** thank god

 **pce pce:** RUDE  
**pce pce:** mattsundere  
_**pce pce changed mattsuccs name to mattsundere**_ **pce pce:** h-hhhana!! x3 i d-didnt expect to see u :3c (/▽＼)

 

1:16 PM

 

 **mattsundere:** SHCKDJFKDORIGDR  
**mattsundere:** NO  
**mattsundere:** THAT AINT ME  
**mattsundere:** IM BETTER THAN THIS

 **frosted flake:** someone: -uses XD in dialogue-  
**frosted flake:** me: dies

 **mattsundere:** SHFKSHFOIVOIFVONEKNFS  
**mattsundere:** ok now THATS me

 **nyaku:** xD

 **frosted flakes:** please Dont

 **pce pce:** HELSGSKSHSKSHSKSJ  
**pce pce:** maki i-i l-l-love u!!@!! x3 u !!! baka 1!1!!1 runs of x3 (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

 **hana montana:** zim LAUGHIG

 **mattsundere:** SHU UTP THATS NOT MW

 **gucci gucci:** tgagys what i was liek with tusk

 **kozumenchie:** tusk

 **pce pce:** tusk

 **mattsundere:** tusk

 **Tsukki:** lol that's still u

 **gucci gucci:** TSUKK JI

 **pce pce:** m-maki!!!!!! not here owo d-dont make me hit u!!!! u b-baka!!

 **mattsundere:** NO  
**mattsundere:** ID NEVER HIT MAKI

 **yahababe:** hanamaki: o-oh mattsun i didn't see you there (≧∀≦)

 **pce pce:** m--maaakkiii x3 i d-dint expect to see u :3c (/▽＼)  
**pce pce:** SHCKDJFKDORIGDR

 **mattsundere:** NO STOP

 **kozumenchie:** lol

 

10:40 PM

 

 **mattsundere:** gwahgdh henlo  
**mattsundere:** i am h ere too Screqs,  
**mattsundere:** SCERQM

 **kozumenchie:** oh no

 **messy hair:** tell me, is mattsun drunkie:3c

 **Akaashit:** Don't do that face

 **messy hair:** :3c

 **kozumenchie:** lmao

 **mattsundere:** yea  
**mattsundere:** i durnkrn  
**mattsundere:** hot  
**mattsundere:** hoot  
**mattsundere:** i meant

 **messy hair:** how many of what

 **mattsundere:** like... 3 big red solo cups of straight up gin

 **pce pce:** NAH thats not bad  
**pce pce:** how is it?

 **mattsundere:** like  
**mattsundere:** weird  
**mattsundere:** tastes like weir d cough syrup

 **kenmenchie:** is it warm

 **mattsundere:** drunky  
**mattsundere:** yess

 **pce pce:** lol cute

 **mattsundere:** He Keep me Worm

 **messy hair:** He Keep me Worm

 **pce pce:** Worm,

 **mattsundere:** He Meep Me

 **koumenchie:** how does one get so off topic

 **Tsukki:** was there ever a topic?

 **mattsundere:** BRO tahs so deepr

 

_Today_

 

2:09 AM

 

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **messy hair:** sounds like nut sack

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **mattsundere:** its the nut sack

 **yahababe:** its also 2 am

 **hana montana:** its the nutshack

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **yahababe:** SHUT UP U STINKY KITTIN

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **mattsundere:** GO EAT A FLY STINKY

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **hana montana:** stop tihis

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **pce pce:** SOMEONE STOP HIM

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **yahababe:** block him

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **pce pce:** SHUT UP U STINKY KKITTIN  
**pce pce:** IM TRYING TO SLEEP AND MY PHONE NOTIFS KEEP GOING OFF YUO DICK

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **nyaku:** anarchy

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **mattsundere:** edn my life

 **yahababe:** IM MUTING

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **mattsundere:** ME TOO

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **messy hair:** STOP THIS

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **pce pce:** STOP STHIS

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack  
**kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **pce pce:** KENMA

 **kozumenchie:** its the nutshack

 **pce pce:** DNOOO

 **nyaku:** blease, end this

 **kozumenchie:** lol  
**kozumenchie:** ok dnt blocc me

 

9:06 AM

 

 **Akaashit:** I wake up to 64 new messages and over half of it is the beginning chorus to The Nutshack

 **kouzumenchie:** it could have been the end chorus

 **Akaashit:** The end chorus is only "It's the nutshack" repeated four times, so I assumed you were typing the intro

 **kozumenchie:** lol u know the way the theme song goes  
**kozumenchie:** same tbh


	3. drowning my sorrows in csi miami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi yes hello im v late on this but i actually finished over break  
> if i messed bwease tell me ty ^^ hv a great day
> 
> _______________________________________________
> 
> Tsukki: you can't be sleep deprived if you never sleep *points to forehead*
> 
> reminder:  
> oikawa - pce pce  
> tsukishima - Tsukki  
> yamaguchi - gucci gucci  
> kenma - kozumenchie  
> kuroo - messy hair  
> sugawara - frosted flake  
> yaku - nyaku  
> akaashi - Akaashit  
> yahaba - yahababe  
> matsukawa - mattsundere  
> hanamaki - hana montana

18:12

 

 **pce pce:** my  
**pce pce:** grandfather  
**pce pce:** is at my house  
**pce pce:** and hes nice but he creeps me out and i still dnt like him

 **kozumenchie:** hide from him

 **pce pce:** i am LOL

 **kozumenchie:** good

 **mattsundere:** killhim

 **pce pce:** MATTSUN THTA S ILLEGA;

 **mattsundere:** ILL COME OVER AND DO IT MYSEL

 **kozumenchie:** destroy him

 **pce pce:** OG YMYGOF  
**pce pce:** oh ym gdod  
**pce pce:** none of u can evr come to my house when anyone else is there

 **kozumenchie:** ;0

 **pce pce:** lort

 **mattsundere:** KENMA  
**mattsundere:** O HMY GID

 **kozumenchie:** lmao

 

21:34

 

 **kozumenchie:** hi i have this list of videos and i need more like memes n shit

 **nyaku:** kazoo kid

 **kozumenchie:** no

 **Tsukki:** have you seen that blam parody video with the movie up where the guy's like making jokes about miscarriages and old ladies dying

 **kozumenchie:** i mean  
**kozumenchie:** yeah

 **pce pce:** WHY DID YOU TWO WATCH THAT

 **messy hair:** hv u not watched it

 **pce pce:** OBVIOUSLY

 **nyaku:** wouldnt hv expected tht tbh

 **pce pce:** what y

 **nyaku:** like,, you seem to like being mean to ppl u call ur own bf a gorilla

 **pce pce:** GORILLAS ARE VIOLENT AND HE IS VIOLENT hv you H E A R D abt what harambe did

 **nyaku:** it's 2017

 **kozumenchie:** lets not talk about harambe

 **pce pce:** fair point  
**pce pce:** anyways VIDEOS

 **gucci gucci:** THEHRES THEI YOUTUEBER NAMED NYANNRR S

 **Akaashit:** I assume you mean  
**Akaashit:** There's this youtuber named Nyanners  
**Akaashit:** She does these weird videos with her anime girl voice some of them are actually pretty funny

 **gucci gucci:** !!!!!' ! yuo lnnyannebd

 **yahababe:** oh my god have you seen her new video with the asmr anime girl and she lulls you to sleep but like.... the end fucked me up lmao i thought it was legit so i tried napping to it i almost died

 **kozumenchie:** lol

 **nyaku:** bro........ shes where i got this name from

 **pce pce:** ok how cud we possibly tell tht tbh i thot u were just a furry

 **gucci gucci:** pfffff

 **pce pce:** one of my  
**pce pce:** favorite videos is the one of that guy who comes bcak from the space station  
**pce pce:** but he forgets that earth has gravity so he just drops his cup

 **yahababe:** IM THE GUY THAT DROPS THE CUP BC I DONT HAVE A FUCKIN CLUE WHAT GRAVITY IS

 **pce pce:** LOL

 

23:45

 

 **kozumenchie:** funfact turoo uses like 9000 hair products it naturally looks like a rats nest  
**kozumenchie:** he also carries around chapstick hes got the dryest lips

 **pce pce:** u talk a lot of shit for someone so unwilling to put ur heckin fists up

 **kozumenchie:** w oah  
**kozumenchie:** this is slander i am a child of god i have never done anything wrong, ever, in my life

 **frosted flake:** i know this, and i love you

 **pce pce:** (¬_¬)

 **kozumenchie:** this is satire  
**kozumenchie:** aka a joke

 **pce pce:** a goof  
**pce pce:** and a spoof  
**pce pce:** u quoted nyanners

 **kozumenchie:** so did u

 **pce pce:** yougotmethere.png

 

01:20

 

 **pce pce:** any of yall study like... rocks n stuff bc i want to talk abt How Much i Love them

 **Tsukki:** funfact i like rocks  
**Tsukki:** flourite's cool and comes in lots of colors  
**Tsukki:** actually so does sapphire  
**Tsukki:** lots of colors  
**Tsukki:** crystals are really cool tbh

 **pce pce:** YEAH i love crystals

 **messy hair:** isnt flourite the stuff for teeth

 **pce pce:** kuroo................no..........

 **yahababe:** i don't take a rock class and i have No Idea what we're talking about

 **messy hair:** dsame

 **Tsukki:** fluoride, kuroo

 **messy hair:** OH

 **kozumenchie:** pfff  
**kozumenchie:** i dunno too much abt rocks but i like how they look

 **pce pce:** i can respect tht  
**pce pce:** ruby is my birthstone

 **Tsukki:** oikawa why'd you mention your birthstone

 **pce pce:** mb i want crystal related gifts specifically geodes for my bday hint hint @ all of u

 **mattsundere:** sh u t ge guck up its 1 am  
**mattsundere:** i step on turoos head killing him instantly

 **hana montana:** thank god

 **pce pce:** all of you r bullies

 **hana montana:** *peace signs and dissapears*

 **frosted flake:** tbh im, rly surprised by tht

 **pce pce:** wht y

 **frosted flake:** bc  
**frosted flake:** yr not asking for alien merch  
**frosted flake:** which is definitely a first

 **pce pce:** I LIKE STUFF BESIDES ALIENS

 **kozumenchie:** bitch where

 **frosted flakes:** like volleyball  
**frosted flakes:** and rocks now  
**frosted flakes:** apparently

 **Tsukki:** that's not a lot of things

 **pce pce:** ＿(´ཀ`」 ∠)_ i am wounded  
**pce pce:** i like dramas and murder mystery stuff too

 **kozumenchie:** hes not lying  
**kozumenchie:** when he came to my house he said he was going to 'drown his sorrows in csi miami'

 **Tsukki:** pfff

 **frosted flakes:** ME

 **pce pce:** dont be fucking rude

 **frosted flakes:** ok m yhOD wair wait

 **pce pce:** what

 **frosted flakes:** do u watch reality tv shows like the bachelor and real houswives

 **pce pce:** HDLSJSKISHDKSHS  
**pce pce:** y ES  
**pce pce:** i LOVE REALITY TV HAVE YOU HEARD OF NEW YORK  
**pce pce:** FLAVOR OF LOVE WAS THE ORIGIN OF NEW YORK MEMES

 **frosted flakes:** who the fuck

 **pce pce:** u kno that  
**pce pce:** pic of the girl on a bed with sunglasses on looking pissed off  
**pce pce:** thats new york  
**pce pce:** i love her

 **kozumenchie:** oh yeah i rmr some gifs of her

 **pce pce:** shes such a blessing tbh  
**pce pce:** ntq i think theres a large portion of ppl who only started watching reality tv bc of her

 **Tsukki:** that's kind of sad

 **pce pce:** mcscuse me bich

 **Tsukki:** lmao

 **kozumenchie:** u know its like 1:45 am by now right

 **pce pce:** ya  
**pce pce:** yr point being

 **kozumenchie:** that this whole gc has insomnia

 **messy hair:** u got me there

 **Tsukki:** you can't be sleep deprived if you never sleep *points to forehead*

 **frosted flakes:** kdhdksjs go to sleep piggy

 **kozumenchie:** lmao

 **pce pce:** LOL

 **frosted flakes:** sleep uglies

 **messy hair:** meowch ok

 **pce pce:** bye bye _(:3 」∠)_

**kozumenchie:** nighty 

**Tsukki:** good night 


	4. party team ubers now, wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> messy hair: all of you terrify me with your sleep schedules
> 
> gucci gucci: itys fne wr allm mangeae so whaye te priblem
> 
> messy hair: you terrify me the most
> 
> gucci gucci: fair
> 
> _________________________________
> 
> yada yada name reminders, hope you enjoy !
> 
> oikawa - pce pce  
> tsukishima - Tsukki  
> yamaguchi - gucci gucci  
> kenma - kozumenchie  
> kuroo - messy hair  
> sugawara - frosted flake  
> yaku - nyaku  
> akaashi - Akaashit  
> yahaba - yahababe  
> matsukawa - mattsundere  
> hanamaki - hana montana

3:12 AM

 

 **pce pce:** /tts HEY LOSERS I GOT A SICK ALIEN SWEATER  
_**[Image Attached]**_

 **kozumenchie:** what the fuck tooru its 3 am  
**kozumenchie:** why did u just send this

 **frosted flake:** WHY WREE YOU SHOPPOING AT 3 I WAS ALSSEP

 **nyaku:** i had tts on for once and that scared the shit out of me  
**nyaku:** gjdfjfaskd

 **kozumenchie:** take his tts away...

 **frosted flake:** Burn The TTS

 **mattsundere:** specifically oikawas

 **pce pce:** I JUST WANTED YALL TO SEE IT  
_**[Image Attached]**_  
**pce pce:** doesnt it look pretty  
**pce pce:** someone please say it looks pretty

 **kozumenchie:** it looks pretty

 **pce pce:** thank yuo kozume,.... ur the best friend ive ever had

 **kozumenchie:** lol ur welcome can u send me the link i lowkey want one

 **pce pce:** YOU WANNA MATCH !! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

 **kozumenchie:** whatever floats ur boat loser i just like sweaters

 **mattsundere:** ur kinda mean to ur friends

 **kozumenchie:** ur the only one here that doesnt get to say that to me, mattsundere

 **mattsundere:** listen,

 **pce pce:** LOL anyways sry i was lookin for it  
**pce pce:** its  
**pce pce:** https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N4AC0RV/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8 &th=1&psc=1

 **kozumenchie:** thx kid

 **frosted flake:** i'm going back to sleep so shutup

 **kozumenchie:** night

 **pce pce:** goodnight suga (─‿‿─)♡

 **mattsundere:** nighty

 

10:14 AM

 

 **messy hair:** all of you terrify me with your sleep schedules

 **gucci gucci:** itys fne wr allm mangeae so whaye te priblem

 **messy hair:** you terrify me the most

 **gucci gucci:** fair

 

1:06 PM

 

 **yahababe:** hey im on my way home via uber  
**yahababe:** amazingly, my uber driver today is someone i knew like 2 years ago  
**yahababe:** he has snacks and water so i took a bottle and some cookies  
**yahababe:** nice nice nice

 **hana montana:** dude thats so cool

 **yahababe:** ikr

 **hana montana:** bro do i know him

 **yahababe:** rmr the party team  
**yahababe:** johzenji

 **hana montana:** oh yeah !

 **yahababe:** it was numajiri rintaro  
**yahababe:** one of the wing spikers  
**yahababe:** the one with my haircut but not as good

 **hana montana:** congrats u went 2 whole sentences before insulting him

 **yahababe:** my haircut is a trademark  
**yahababe:** i deserve the crown

 **hana montana:** wild  
**hana montana:** also yeah i rmr him tell him i say hi

 **yahababe:** i will  >.O

 

2:20 PM

 

 **Akaashit:** Hey I have a question

 **yahababe:** whats up

 **messy hair:** uh huh

 **kozumenchie:** what is it keiji

 **pce pce:** yes aka-chan?

 **Akaashit:** Why do all of you type in lowercase

 **kozumenchie:** was that the original question or did u just ask that bc of all of our answers

 **Akaashit:** Both

 **kozumenchie:** i will tell you a secret, akaashi

 **pce pce:** i am a member of an organization

 **kozumenchie:** called "the order of the dark lowercaps"

 **messy hair:** wait wha

 **pce pce:** but there is a price to pay

 **kozumenchie:** you cant tell anyone else about this organization

 **yahababe:** arent you guys telling him right now

 **pce pce:** not even your closest friends

 **Akaashit:** Kozume I am getting weaker by the second, just tell me why you type in lowercase.

 **kozumenchie:** first, we must first travel to another dimension  
**kozumenchie:** the fact that you caught on is pretty fantastic

 **pce pce:** anyways theres no deep reason  
**pce pce:** imo i just like the aesthetic

 **messy hair:** auto correct fucks up all my sentences

 **yahababe:** i just followed the trend

 **kozumenchie:** dnt i seem like a lowercase kinda guy

 **Akaashit:** Good points.  
**Akaashit:** Should I type like you all then?

 **kozumenchie:** no, keiji  
**kozumenchie:** you are special  
**kozumenchie:** never change

 **Akaashit:** Thank you.

 

4:20 PM

 

 **kozumenchie:** blaze it

 **mattsundere:** haha blaze

 **hana montana:** blaze it boys

 **Tsukki:** 420 blaze it

 **nyaku:** do any of you even smoke weed

 **kozumenchie:** shhh

 **nyaku:** i would have never pegged you as this type of person, kenma  
**nyaku:** you neither, tsukishima

 **Tsukki:** thanks

 **kozumenchie:** thx lol

 

7:15 PM

 

 **Tsukki:** what do i eat for dinner  
**Tsukki:** i wouldn't mind leaving the house for once if any of you wanna go somewhere

 **gucci gucci:** do yuo wannna go someqhwere !!;  
**gucci gucci:** liek somewhere wiyh chikcen or smrh

 **Tsukki:** yeah sure, when?

 **gucci gucci:** IC AB COMM PVER NOW

 **Tsukki:** i'll go put on something, see you soon

 **gucci gucci:** i lovje yo tsukii

 **Tsukki:** you too  
**Tsukki:** ,, <3

 

8:15 PM

 

 **yahababe:** tadashi is WHIPPED

 **frosted flake:** lmao ur not wrong

 **yahababe:** highkey tho kyotanis got me like that too i cant judge

 **frosted flake:** best be able to take what you can dish out

 **yahababe:** who are you

 **nyaku:** same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING FOREVER TO UPDATE I SAW IT WAS THE LAST DAY OF APRIL AND I WAS LIKE HECK I HAVENT UPDATED IN FOREVER SO SINCERE APOLOGIES FROM ME TO ALL OF YOU HAVE THIS I HOPE U ENJOY


	5. the govt knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **hana montana:** i wanna fuck you up the ass
> 
>  **kozumenchie:** you can stick it up your own, asshole
> 
>  **hana montana:** i would if i could... _bitch_
> 
>  **pce pce:** that was amazing oh my god
> 
>  **nyaku:** wtf what that???
> 
>  **Akaashit:** Have you ever heard of the 1991 film "Whore"?
> 
>  **pce pce:** LOL aka-chan i love you more than you could evr know
> 
>  **Akaashit:** Show that love by never calling me aka-chan again.
> 
>  **mattsundere:** ZING
> 
> _________________________________
> 
> oikawa - pce pce  
> tsukishima - Tsukki  
> yamaguchi - gucci gucci  
> kenma - kozumenchie (changed to kozumeanie in this chp)  
> kuroo - messy hair  
> sugawara - frosted flake  
> yaku - nyaku  
> akaashi - Akaashit  
> yahaba - yahababe  
> matsukawa - mattsundere  
> hanamaki - hana montana

9:40 PM

 

 **hana montana:** hey yall did u kno im gay

 **Akaashit:** Yes.

 **pce pce:** yup

 **nyaku:** mmhm

 **kozumenchie:** yes we were all aware

 **hana montana:** ok well fuck you, listen,  
**hana montana:** mattsuns legs bro... theyre good legs.....

 **kozumenchie:** and you are having this thought just now because

 **hana montana:** HES SLEEBIN ON MY COUCH AND HIS LEGS ARE ON MY LAAAAP

 **pce pce:** aw (─‿‿─)♡

 **kozumenchie:** affection.....  
**kozumenchie:** disgustenign

 **hana montana:** hows this for affection  


**hana montana:** i wanna fuck you up the ass

 **kozumenchie:** you can stick it up your own, asshole

 **hana montana:** i would if i could... _bitch_

 **pce pce:** fantastic

 **nyaku:** wtf what that???

 **Akaashit:** Have you ever heard of the 1991 film "Whore"?

 **pce pce:** LOL aka-chan i love you more than you could evr know

 **Akaashit:** Show that love by never calling me aka-chan again.

 **mattsundere:** ZING

 

11:04 PM

 

 **kozumenchie** imagine this: i go to bed

 **pce pce:** a cool concept  
**pce pce:** but imagine this: u fall asleep

 **kozumenchie:** interesting idea  
**kozumenchie:** but picture this: i stay asleep for atleast 8 hours

 **pce pce:** whoa... thats a wild image

 **kozumenchie:** yeah man ... nyanyways i shall make these imagines real

 **pce pce:** good.... make ur dreams come tru

 **kozumenchie:** thanks bro.. ..u 2 bro...

 **pce pce:** bro... lov u bro......  
**pce pce:** no homo bro.......,

 **kozumenchie:** bro..... love u too bro.......,  
**kozumenchie:** lil ... lil homo...,...  
**kozumenchie:** bro.... goodnight

 **pce pce:** bro.............  
**pce pce:** bro ...... .. lil homo, i love u.....

 **kozumenchie:** bro.... .... . same, i love u too bro,,....

 **pce pce:** bro. .. . ..... go to sleep bro......

 **kozumenchie:** bro ok......, .. , . goodnight bro.. .,....

 

12:24 AM

 

 **yahababe:** what kind of fucked up parallel universe is this

 **messy hair:** LMAO

 **hana montana:** ok but tbh who would have ever called those two becoming bffs or whatever they r  
**hana montana:** i get opposites attract but this is wild

 **mattsundere:** just accept it babe

 **hana montana:** OwO whats this  
**hana montana:** is this what all the girls in my chem class call  
**hana montana:** affection?  
**hana montana:** a pet name? love?

 **mattsundere:** ;3c you know it hun

 **hana montana:** doki doki uwu

 **pce pce:** bleh (－‸ლ)

 **mattsundere:** live with it tooru u always wanted us to make out anyways

 **pce pce:** THID IS AN AYTACK

 **hana montana:** lololol

 

1:12 AM

 

 **pce pce:** anybodt hv some good joke sfor futurw reference

 **kozumenchie:** ur birth

_**[pce pce changed kozumenchies name to kozumeanie]** _

**kozumeanie:** harsh

 **pce pce:** go back to sleep u stinky kittin 

 

2:17 AM

 

 **mattsundere:** GUYS I FOUND THIS RLY GOOD SONG

 **hana montana:** LINK

 **mattsundere:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zH9Zca1vRM  
**mattsundere:** THIS IS SO GOOD

 **pce pce:** oh my god i know this  
**pce pce:** kozume showed it to me

 **mattsundere:** ISNT IT GREAT

 **pce pce:** LOL yeah i love how happy leotard girl looks  
**pce pce:** they look so happy with where they are in life

 **mattsundere:** bro that was actually kinda deep  
**mattsundere:** same but i actually meant like isnt the song great

 **pce pce:** OH yeah LOL i started putting tape over my phone and computer camera afterwards

 **mattsundere:** an educational film for the youngsters

 **pce pce:** truly a blessing

 **hana montana:** hi im back that was hilarious oh ym god  
**hana montana:** the ending is wild

 **mattsundere:** her smiles so genuine

 **pce pce:** what a queen god i love her

 **mattsundere:** i cant believe oikawa has a crush on leotard girl

 **pce pce:** oh please im the gayest here

 **hana montana:** whos to say

 **pce pce:** i have the best hair

 **mattsundere:** yahaba

 **pce pce:** shutup

 

4:20 AM

 

 **pce pce:** blaz eit

 **hana montana:** blaze

 **mattsundere:** 420

 **frosted flake:** dO ANY OF YUO EVER SLEE P

 **pce pce:** LOL

 

9:32 AM

 

 **mattsundere:** im.......... dying

 **pce pce:** rt

 **mattsundere:** rt???

 **pce pce:** retweet

 **mattsundere:** AH  
**mattsundere:** i understand

 **pce pce:** no  
**pce pce:** rooster teeth

 **mattsundere:** i  
**mattsundere:** retweet roster teeth  
**mattsundere:** rooster  
**mattsundere:** not roster

 **pce pce:** all the teeth arw present and accounted for

 **mattsundere:** thank god  
**mattsundere:** thats what matters

 **kozumenchie:** a wild ride

 **mattsundere:** indeed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been gettin a Lot of kudos ratio wise so thx!! heres to the next edition of intolerable hell *raises plastic wine glass*  
> also like bros..... ty for the support but i feel like this fic is kinda dyin like it was nvr rly alive to begin with but i dnt hv any insp or anything it just kinda gets written all at once or at volatile bursts shud i continue this ?? mb i will i atleast dnt wanna leave it off here


	6. dumpster fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **pce pce:** hey whats up im tooru and my lifes a dumpster fire
> 
>  **kozumeanie:** same
> 
>  **nyaku:** same
> 
>  **gucci gucci:** sam,e
> 
>  **hana montana:** as much as i love and appreciate the camaraderie in this chat are any of yall alright
> 
>  **kozumeanie:** alright is a strong word
> 
>  **pce pce:** im dying my man
> 
>  **hana montana:** oh wow
> 
> ___________________________________________
> 
> oikawa - pce pce  
> tsukishima - Tsukki  
> yamaguchi - gucci gucci  
> kenma - kozumeanie  
> kuroo - messy hair  
> sugawara - frosted flake  
> yaku - nyaku  
> akaashi - Akaashit  
> yahaba - yahababe  
> matsukawa - mattsundere  
> hanamaki - hana montana

11:24 PM

 

 **pce pce:** hey whats up im tooru and my lifes a dumpster fire

 **kozumeanie:** same

 **nyaku:** same

 **gucci gucci:** sam,e

 **hana montana:** as much as i love and appreciate the camaraderie in this chat are any of yall alright

 **kozumeanie:** alright is a strong word

 **pce pce:** im dying my man

 **hana montana:** oh wow

 **pce pce:** kenmas soundcloud likes hold my life together

 **kozumeanie:** bro........... im truly moved

 **pce pce:** dude....... ur my broulmate

 **kozumenchie:** ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ )

 **pce pce** (─‿‿─)♡

 

1:14 AM

 

 **messy hair:** that was Gay

 **Tsukki:** aren't we all

 **messy hair:** ...... dip damn

 **hana montana:** hey oikawa seemed kinda down earlier right??  
**hana montana:** we nvr actually addressed that

 **messy hair:** _shit_ shit ur rite  
**messy hair:** TOORU, EXPRESS UR FEELINGS MY MAN @pce pce

 **pce pce:** ok ok wht is it hi

 **yahababe:** you ok?  
**yahababe:** like actually  
**yahababe:** you said your like was a dumpster fire earlier and it was relateable but it kinda came out of nowhere so

 **pce pce:** nnn im nt sure i actually wna talk abt it i just. wnt sth to cheer me up? mayhaps?

 **mattsundere:** aw dude  
**mattsundere:** ofc ofc  
**mattsundere:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH7jPAvFTU8

 **pce pce:** pffff  
**pce pce:** his bean

 **messy hair:** it got freaked

 **pce pce:** LOL  
**pce pce:** i truly appreciate the detail in movements in this

 **mattsundere:** right??  
**mattsundere:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvoVWSP-T4Q

 **pce pce:** hmmmmm  
**pce pce:** im sensing a theme here

 **mattsundere:** i have no idea what ure talking about

 **pce pce:** not to worry  
**pce pce:** mbmbam is a fantastic podcast

 **mattsundere:** _well in THAT case_  
**mattsundere:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpC6lZMS6mY

 **pce pce:** HAHAHAHH  
**pce pce:** THIS IS MY FAVORITE

 **yahababe:** wasnt ther  
**yahababe:** wasnt there a tumblr post with this and the caption was like  
**yahababe:** " i almost crashed my car listening to this" bc same

 **pce pce:** i adore them ,

 **mattsundere:** thats ? wild

 **pce pce:** lol ya  
**pce pce:** wait y

 **yahababe:** cus theyre good

 **mattsundere:** and yr a demon  
**mattsundere:** from the fiery pits

 **hana montana:** of heck

 **yahababe:** yea of heck

 **mattsundere:** thank u makki

 **hana montana:** babe....... ofc

 

2:35 AM

 

 **mattsundere:** helliards  
**mattsundere:** awaken

 **Akaashit:** God what the fuck,

 **nyaku:** LMAO ME

 **hana montana:** babe what is it

 **messy hair:** nani the fuck

 **mattsundere:** i just finished the office. what do i do ,

 **Akaashit:** Watch 30 Rock

 **nyaku:** watch parks and rec

 **messy hair:** watch blank check

 **hana montana:** watch trailer park boys

 **mattsundere:** bless yall

 

11:11 AM

 

 **nyaku:** a gun that fits best in my mouth

 **messy hair:** jesus yaku

 **nyaku:** cut me some slack

 **nyaku:** or some rope if ya know what im sayin

 **messy hair:** _JESUS_ YAKU

 **nyaku:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kozumeanie:** thats how it is on this bitch on an earth

 **messy hair:** _kozume_

 **kozumeanie:** https://onsizzle.com/i/thats-how-it-on-this-bitch-of-an-earth-2203977

 **messy hair:** may i ask

 **kozumeanie:** no

 **nyaku:** his dick dude

 **kozumeanie:**  honestly i was tryna find the original but this is better bc its gay and the quality sucks  
**kozumeanie:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15IbuphI2ak

 **messy hair:** service to japan

 **frosted flake:** WHY KOZUME

 **kozumeanie:** thats how it is on this bitch on an earth

 **frosted flake:** please  
**frosted flake:**  god ,

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i got such a nice comment on my last chapter i feel horrible for not updating earlier this motivation comes from u (also read the fics u recd and cried ty) @ sweet commenter, ur a true broski in my book
> 
> i srsly just had to get this out to have a more currect update i dont wna abandon this fic like my old one and delete so
> 
> summer pe is still going mcshoot me
> 
> enjoy !

**Author's Note:**

> hello hi yes this is my first chat fic so im gna try my hardest on it blease bare w me and tell me what u think ! lololol this is inspired by the countless chat fics ive read id list them but ive read like......... 70 nyanyways im also in a gc which is where like half these convos r from lol bye bye


End file.
